Each room comes furnished with one bed, one door, and no view. Our rooms are private, inexpensive, and suitable for guests who do not wish to be found. The room has been here a long time. Amenities include: A loaded gun. A handful of pills. A bottle. A pack of cigarettes. A game with no board. Guests are encouraged to: Draw the curtains. Lock the door. Smoke in bed. Practice in the mirror. Make false promises. Rooms are serviced between occupants. Certain stains may be more difficult to clean. Others spread. This is normal. The hotel does not offer refunds. Thank you for staying. We hope you got what you came for.