In observance of the nation's semiquincentennial, we present Stephen Sondheim and John Weidman's Assassins as a school assembly. Nine members of this community have been selected to research and personify the nine Americans who shot, or tried to shoot, a president. The school offers the assembly as an exercise in national rehabilitation. You will sit inside the classroom, under the presidential portraits, around the desks and chalkboard. Fifty seats. No stage. The lesson does not go as intended.